The Difference between Guts & Balls

[HHGT]

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do
you really know the difference between them? In an effort
to keep the GT owners informed, the definition for each is listed
below ....

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,
being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to
ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping
your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.

 

[scode]

:lol

 

[Gulf GT]

This depends on your wife. When my wife walks into a room, every guy's head turns to look (a well known model in her 20's), is highly intelligent (PhD educated), and could easily take on a whole football team of 19 year olds who haven't had sex for six months. She would remove my balls with a "dull" broomstick if I said either of those statements to her. :devil

 

[jimfro]

guts & balls

If I did that I would have both removed. :confused :eek :frown

 

[HHGT]

When I showed my wife the post, she just has a devilish smile on her face..

 

[jasper]

having lost the sense of smell and taste following recent op, sitting down to

tea with wife, who's had a bad hair day(caused by me) and i say this tastes

nice. :eek

brave? nay stupid :ack

 

[B O N Y]

This depends on your wife. When my wife walks into a room, every guy's head turns to look (a well known model in her 20's), is highly intelligent (PhD educated), and could easily take on a whole football team of 19 year olds who haven't had sex for six months. She would remove my balls with a "dull" broomstick if I said either of those statements to her. :devil

just working on the mental picture of the football team,... any chance you post a picture of the little lady, with or without the lads? arty op arty

 

[B O N Y]

This depends on your wife. When my wife walks into a room, every guy's head turns to look (a well known model in her 20's), is highly intelligent (PhD educated), and could easily take on a whole football team of 19 year olds who haven't had sex for six months. She would remove my balls with a "dull" broomstick if I said either of those statements to her. :devil

Don't mean to pick on you... but, here is a magazine that might be of interest :biggrin

 

[Gulf GT]

Don't mean to pick on you... but, here is a magazine that might be of interest :biggrin

I think she gave me a 10 year subscription to that magazine! :rofl

 

[Piccola]

Question for you "whipped" guys...

Out of curiousity... If your girl goes out for poker night or a few drinks with her guy friends and leaves a note for you to have the house clean, the clothes washed, & the dishes done by the time she got back... Any chance of her catching you with a broom in your hand when she came home? :biggrin Somehow I doubt it... :bs

 

[B O N Y]

Out of curiousity... If your girl goes out for poker night or a few drinks with her guy friends and leaves a note for you to have the house clean, the clothes washed, & the dishes done by the time she got back... Any chance of her catching you with a broom in your hand when she came home? :biggrin Somehow I doubt it... :bs

One, I was told to stop handling my broom, it is bad for the complextion and eyesight. :biggrin

Me makum yenom, squaw can call dial a maid and meals on wheels for chief squatting eagle :biggrin

MJ get off the LSD :biggrin

 

[EasyEric]

Luckily this is not a problem for me as I am single and content to practice my own "catch and release" program with the lovely ladies of Atlanta.

Recent exchange between me and an attractive lady at a local watering hole:
Woman: So why isn't an eligible man like you married yet?
Me: Because I already have a Mom and a Tax attorney trying to tell me how to live my life!

Eric
- Single and loving it :biggrin

 

[B O N Y]

Luckily this is not a problem for me as I am single and content to practice my own "catch and release" program with the lovely ladies of Atlanta.

Recent exchange between me and an attractive lady at a local watering hole:
Woman: So why isn't an eligible man like you married yet?
Me: Because I already have a Mom and a Tax attorney trying to tell me how to live my life!

Eric
- Single and loving it :biggrin

Yup, I will never get married again. Just find some bitch you hate and buy her an expensive house... it is far cheaper in the long run.






Of course I never pay for sex, I pay them to leave.... quietly and peacefully :banana








The above quotes come from bad dani not Bony :bs

 

[Piccola]

One, I was told to stop handling my broom, it is bad for the complextion and eyesight. :biggrin

Me makum yenom, squaw can call dial a maid and meals on wheels for chief squatting eagle :biggrin

MJ get off the LSD :biggrin

Not on LSD Bony. :biggrin Your "Whipped" magazine has a guy standing over dirty dishes & I thought of my sister's husband. I wonder why men allow themselves to get "whipped" & why women feel they need to control their guys. I can't see any of my single guy friends ever picking up a broom or doing "domestic" chores because a lady asked them to. Nor could I ever see myself actually asking a guy to clean...

However, my sister seems to keep her husband on a very short leash & almost acts like a mother to him. If all men have to put up w/this after marriage, I feel bad for you guys! :frown She gets ticked at me because I'm never on her side. I had to actually negotiate w/her on Steve's behalf the last time I was in WI, to allow him to come out to a poker night w/us!! :bs He was so excited that he got to stay out until 11:00 PM! He's in his early 30's & has a curfew!!!! I was shocked! I love my sister, but come on!!!! Eric, stay single! Keep your freedom! :cheers

 

[B O N Y]

Not on LSD Bony. :biggrin Your "Whipped" magazine has a guy standing over dirty dishes & I thought of my sister's husband. I wonder why men allow themselves to get "whipped" & why women feel they need to control their guys. I can't see any of my single guy friends ever picking up a broom or doing "domestic" chores because a lady asked them to. Nor could I ever see myself actually asking a guy to clean...

However, my sister seems to keep her husband on a very short leash & almost acts like a mother to him. If all men have to put up w/this after marriage, I feel bad for you guys! :frown She gets ticked at me because I'm never on her side. I had to actually negotiate w/her on Steve's behalf the last time I was in WI, to allow him to come out to a poker night w/us!! :bs He was so excited that he got to stay out until 11:00 PM! He's in his early 30's & has a curfew!!!! I was shocked! I love my sister, but come on!!!! Eric, stay single! Keep your freedom! :cheers

wish I could debate with you even in jest, but I can't. you got it right kiddo :biggrin

 

[B O N Y]

----- >
> A couple had only been married for two months and the
> husband,although
> very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
> party with his
> old buddies.
>
> So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
>
> "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the new wife.
>
> "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to
> have
> a beer."
>
> The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door
> to the
> refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands
> from 12
> different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
>
> The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he
> could
> think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You
> know...they
> have frozen glasses... "
>
> He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife
> interrupted him by
> saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face? " She took a huge
> beer mug
> out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just
> holding it.
>
> The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but
> at the bar
> they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I
> won't be
> long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
>
> "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven
> and
> took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings,
> pigs in
> blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
>
> "But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's
> swearing,
> dirty words and all that..."
>
> "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT
> YOUR ASS
> DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND
> EAT
> YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A
> DAMNED
> BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
>
>
> and...they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet
> story? --
>

 

[scode]

I was once told that there is a certain food that woman eat that will decrease their sex drive by 75%.

I said what is it?



Wedding cake! :lol

 

[Neilda]

There was an advertisement once which read something like:

'FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.'

 

[todd]

What do you tell a lady with 2 black eyes?





Nothing you have already told her twice :confused

 

[todd]

ok last one
how do you satisfy a woman with only 2.5 inches? :banana :banana :banana