You are not lying! Impossible to top. I always tried to tell people "Go. Now. It will not be a possibility in the near future." And now we're already there.
And now that my car is back in the U.S...
Matt lives by a philosophy that essentially boils down to "ZFG." The two of us we're stopped crossing from sunny Italy to France by some
very unhappy looking border control. They pulled us to the side and took all of our paperwork, including our vehicle titles (you have to have them shipped over). They were gone for a long time. Long enough that we decided to get out of our cars and mill around.
After a while, a huge group of agents came out. It might have been a dozen very serious looking men and women with guns and badges. I thought "oh well this looks like it will be fun." They asked which one of us was which, at which point I thought we were
seriously f$#(*@d. And then they just gave us our paperwork back and let us go. Whew. I did ask them if we could get a picture with all of them in front of the cars. They were not willing to accommodate this request. :lol I have no idea why they stopped us, but I can tell you the white circle with the three black lines doesn't mean the same thing in Italy that it does in Germany. I think we were going 150+ for what seemed like hours.
Luckily, as soon as we arrived on the now pouring French side of the tunnel through the mountains, we were greeted by...more police. They pulled us off to the side and told us to get out of the cars and come into the station. Yay! At least we made it 50 feet into French daylight before getting pulled over. To recap, the officer explained he had three, no wait four, problems with us. He recounted what our violations were with another officer in the small room the 4 of us were locked in. Back to Matt and his ZFG lifestyle, he starts chatting with me as the officer fills out all the paperwork, detailing that "ah yes this is surely just a shakedown" (it was) and slowly raising his phone to get pics of us. I was trying very, very hard not to laugh uncontrollably in an effort to not end up sitting in a French jail cell while my car was off being flattened into a pancake.
"Hmm, zis says ze fee for Amex is 3.2%. Zis is much too high."