Electrical theory by joseph lucas


RALPHIE

GT Owner
Mar 1, 2007
7,278
(For the edification of those who have never experienced the joy and anxiety of owning British Motor Cars. Some American manufacturers, however, have been able to emulate Mr. Lucas' circuitry prowess.)



ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS


Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as “smoke”. Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.



Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.


It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: “A gentleman does not motor about after dark.”

Joseph Lucas “The Prince of Darkness” 1842-1903

A few Lucas quips:
The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start. Back in the ‘70s; Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.



Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?


A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.


This has been referred to as the smoke theory - when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done for.
 

HiloDave

GT Obsessed
Mark II Lifetime
Dec 7, 2005
928
Hilo, Hawaii
Brings a tear to my eye when I think about my old Triumphs and BSA's.
 

Superfly

HERITAGE GT OWNER
Mark II Lifetime
Jun 23, 2008
2,210
Edmonton, Alberta
Haha. Thanks, I needed that laugh this morning as it's raining here. "Lucas - inventor of the first intermittent wiper". It's funny because it's true!!! :rofl:rofl:rofl
 

soroush

Ford Gt Owner
Mark II Lifetime
Aug 8, 2007
5,256
:rofl
 

GTJack

GT Owner
Mark IV Lifetime
Le Mans 2010 Supporter
Oct 1, 2006
1,729
Saddlebrooke, MO
I owned two MGs, and can really relate to the Lucas theory. I wish I had learned of it before I dreamt of owning a british sports car.
 

2112

Blue/white 06'
Mark II Lifetime
I too had an MGB years ago. Never went anywhere without a tow rope and was forced to steal a squeegee once to get home in a downpour.
 

twobjshelbys

GT Owner
Jul 26, 2010
6,247
Las Vegas, NV
The Lucas electrical gods ate the fuel pump switch on the Cobra on the way home from a car show last summer. A little "on the freeway" diagnosis led me to the switch. The "workaround" was to jam a toothpick in the switch to keep the clicker off the dead spot.
 

Nardo GT

Well-known member
Jul 15, 2006
2,300
Texas
I have a 74 MGB now and have owned many. I prefer TR6s and have owned many of those. Definitely not cars to need a quick getaway in for many reasons. They are cute, quirky, and have a personality to them .....but fast and/or dependable they are not.
 
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Indy GT

Yea, I got one...too
Mark IV Lifetime
Jan 14, 2006
2,545
Greenwood, IN
Very cute Ralphie!
I have (as your post describes) always called him "the prince of darkness".