A Trip to Italy

[RALPHIE]

A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy ."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

 

[Sinovac]

:lol

 

[Triheart7]

Another funy, Ralphie!

 

[mrscape]

Italian Grandma's Advice!

A young Italian girl was going on a date.

Her Nonna said: 'Sita here ana letame tella you about this-a younga boy.

He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat, but don't let him do dat.

He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likeadat too, but don'ta let him do dat eeda.

But mosta important, he's agonna try ana lay on topa you, you are agonna really likea dat, but don'ta let him do dat for sure.

Doing thata willa disgraza our family.

With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.

The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted:

'And Nonna, I didn't let him disgrace our family as you said.

When he tried to lay on top of me,

I just rolled him over,got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family!'

Nonna fainted!!

 

[mrscape]

One more,
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom

that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*** her again."

 

[djs]

Ralphie, that's a classic!