So I decided to build a shed

[dbk]

Thought everyone would like to keep track of my build progress.

I bring you this for your viewing pleasure. Constructikons and do-it-your-selfers may get an extra special kick out of this one.

So, my landlord has taken it upon himself to build a 'toolshed'. For a roto-tiller. At least, that's the entirety of what he told us - there is, however, some inherent communication issues. (He's Korean, and not yet well versed in english (though certainly much better than my Korean)). There's one door so far, and a lawnmower will not even fit through it. (I don't think he knows that yet though)

So, this is the 'project' thus far. For one, the ground it's being built is mushy moist marshland - your feet sink with every step. Which is always ideal for a good foundation - or complete lack thereof.

It may not be immediately obvious, but I don't think this man has a background in construction.
It appears he owns a hammer and saw, perhaps a measuring tape, perhaps not. Certainly nothing like a square, straightedge, or level.
I guestimate that he has seen no more than 3 episodes of various home improvement shows, and maybe at best he's driven by a construction site atleast once in his life. After all, "how hard could it be?"

Indeed.

Now, I'm fairly certain this violates several bylaws. But I have no intention of stopping this beautiful process. I want to see this abortion come to term, and will keep this thread updated as this eyesore... evolves.


The pics almost don't do it justice though, at a glance you may almost think everything is straight and parallel. It's not.

Solid foundation. Note the footprint sinkholes opening up.

These blocks will surely prevent it from sinking, right?

Everything lining up so far...

Looking good....

I saw Bob Villa do it just like this ....

2 short planks are surely better than 1 long one...

Square, almost.

Perhaps a false-wall, or shelving system taking form here...

And, finally, this seems to be the only pic that even remotely captures and conveys the true deviance in the 'angles' present....

http://imgur.com/a/kDuXo#1EUCjL9

I don't think I'll ever set foot inside this thing...

 

[dbk]

.

Today saw the 'completion' of the A-frame roof supports, and the addition of 'walls'.

But please use 'other' door.

The door itself hangs crooked in the (also crooked) door frame. Opening it wasn't so bad, but closing it takes some significant effort. Luckily you can just kind of bend things as needed.

Structural.

Flooring. It's like a wall for your feet.

I don't know what this is doing here, but it's important enough to work the flooring around it. There's only one of these though - it must be unique and important.

Gaps like yo mamma's front teeth

Quality finishing.

2 nails, 5 screws. This is fastening a 2ft piece of wood into the 'shelving unit'. Secure.as.****.

Side view;

damn 10 pic limit... more on the way

 

[dbk]

This is the piece being held by the 2 nails + 5 screws:

Roofline; Note the 'extension' in the foreground, and the raised beams aft

structural brace, securely fashioned.

My favorite bit. I'm calling it the 'keystone' - upon which everything else seems to rest.

Keystone detail. Elegant.

shot of the shelves

I think this is a chin-up bar, and he wants to hang a heavy-bag...

Yup. It's taking shape quite nicely.

.

 

[dbk]

UPDATE TIME!

It's got the googely eyes

Measure once cut ..ah ****it.

This thing is totally gonna be air-tight...

...all around

'keystone' update - the 'central' support beam has been cut out and merged with another. I 'fully support this decision'. Too bad it will not be fully supporting much of anything anymore.

Well, this looks promising, doesn't it? Shingles! yay!
It can only mean he plans on going up on the roof at some point

.

 

[dbk]

shelves, **** yea.

For marble storage.

close enough.

There's a LOT of these.

Clearly he's thought this through.

Admittedly, the presence of TP is both unsettling and intriguing.

...and OH SHIT did this mutha****a actually get a timelapse? :evilgrin

.

 

[dbk]

No, the decrepit shacks in the back are the neighbours, and I should have turned the camera on HIS latest build project as well, although that 'wtf' is now overshadowed by 'PeeWee's Playhouse' here.

Where to begin...

Roof sheeting and shingling. And yup, that's straight shingle, no tar paper down - I expected so much. I mean, *nothing* has been done correctly so far, why bother to start doing so now?

It's just colossally bad. I can't wait until it rains. Once it runs through a cycle of seasons, it's just gonna be soggy oatmeal mush.

Fine floor finishing. Every step bends the wood and prys the nails up.

****ing Jenga!...

.

 

[dbk]

.

Quick look at the 'tool box'. I shoulda kicked the bag of nails out of the way, because I believe that little handsaw is what he's using...

You have my sword! ...And my bow! ...And my Axe! (we're ****ed)

I nearly cut myself.

I take this as evidence that he's hammering screws, and screwing nails.

 

[bonehead]

Looks legit. Finally, something with worse panel gaps than a GT

 

[KJD]

Man, I've seen rat bikes and rat rods.

This is the first rat shed I've ever seen!! :lol

 

[Copenhagen GT]

:facepalm::rofl

 

[Chris A.]

That made me laugh.......thank you

I'm forwarding this to my brother.....he's an architect

 

[gtinmyblood]

Wow! Just Wow!

 

[BlackICE]

I didn't know you have hillbillies for neighbors. :lol

What a waste of lumber. I don't expect it to last through a hard winter.

Can't do anything like that around my area. The building inspectors are always trolling around looking for construction vehicles parked outside of homes without building permits.

 

[BlackICE]

What kind of foundation is he using. Looks like ordinary lumber just lying on the ground. That is going to rot out very quickly.

 

[dbk]

I think it's in Vancouver area. Came from this website:

http://www.bcsportbikes.com/forum/s...Fail-Fail-to-Build.-What-is-this-I-don-t-even.....

The week I moved in to my house I had my 24 foot trailer in my 90 foot long driveway for a couple days. Immediately got a letter from the city saying I had 48 hours to move it. Nobody could see it but one neighbor and I live at the end of a cul de sac with a 13 acre ex-farm on the other side. Either I got really lucky with the bored inspector or my neighbor ratted me out instantly.

 

[dbk]

p.s, some day he's gonna swing that axe one time too many and there's gonna be a heap of trouble.

 

[twobjshelbys]

Doesn't look much different from the chicken coop in the background.

Hope the wind doesn't blow too much out there.

Foundation? We don't need no stinking foundation.

Pressure treated lumber? Huh? What's that?

I can't believe the time lapse.

I'll assert that the hammer in this person's hand is a much more dangerous weapon than a semi-automatic rifle with a 30 round magazine.

 

[BlackICE]

I think it's in Vancouver area. Came from this website:

http://www.bcsportbikes.com/forum/s...Fail-Fail-to-Build.-What-is-this-I-don-t-even.....

The week I moved in to my house I had my 24 foot trailer in my 90 foot long driveway for a couple days. Immediately got a letter from the city saying I had 48 hours to move it. Nobody could see it but one neighbor and I live at the end of a cul de sac with a 13 acre ex-farm on the other side. Either I got really lucky with the bored inspector or my neighbor ratted me out instantly.

At my old home, someone parked his tractor trailer in front of my house. Note that my living rm window was only 15' from the street! I thought it was a little dark so I look outside and saw a 30'+ trailer in front of the house. I called the LEO and they should have gotten a ticket, but I didn't see one, they were they for 2 days!

 

[Rickymay]

You just made my day! Thanks for posting.

Any time time lapse of him putting on the shingles? I would have guessed he would have fallen through.

 

[Empty Pockets]

So, my landlord has taken it upon himself to build a 'to build a tool shed.

:eek Landlord? What happened to that gorgeous F.L. Wright-influenced 50's-style home you bought a while back???

Please don't tell us you flipped it? That place was absolutely stellar.