Fall Classes for Women

[HHGT]

Fall Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Sep 11th, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..


Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours...

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 

[Empty Pockets]

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.



Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 4: 'Hope that segment contains instrutions directing ladies to LEAVE said items IN THE TRUNK OF THEIR CAR before roaming around a car show.:mad

Class 6: I've inquired about getting a laminated printout for wifey! :lol

 

[Piccola]

Followed by Fall Classes for Men...

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself? — Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. — Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? — Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. — Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. – Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch – Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. — Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? — Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. —
Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion — Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late. — Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven – What It Is and How It Is Used. — Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

 

[Empty Pockets]

"How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays..."
"Ice cube trays"??? A bit "dated", don'tcha think?


"Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming."
"The right places" meaning the place where SHE thinks any particular item should go regardless of the fact it's HIS item and he has a REASON for having put it where it WAS?


"Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost."
When does a real man ever get lost??? Besides, real men have invented sat nav so one's location can be "double checked" at any given moment...:lol


"Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?"
YES!!! Those wheels cost hundreds of dollars apiece!!! :willy:willy:willy


"How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion."
No pblm. Limit your "shopping" to things auto, boat, motorcycle, sports, guns, or tool related. (An exception WILL be made for your trips to "Victoria's Secret".)


Addressing the rest of that list is beneath my dignity! :rofl

 

[Piccola]

Alright Pockets... I was simply helping Sam out as he forgot to include the 2nd 1/2 of these "classes". :lol

I had you pictured as someone who still uses Ice Cube Trays. :wink But this is something I used to get yelled at from the family, so maybe it's not just a guy thing.

If the guy cleaned up and put his belongings away (imagine that!), the girl wouldn't have to come up with a place to put it. :bored

Yes, men do get lost...even with GPS. This is why I am always in the driver's seat. :biggrin (Chris A and Sam...no comments about 2 weeks ago please.)

I cannot comment on the parallel parking one. I would not parallel park an expensive sports car, and the first (and last) time I parallel parked my Z and the rim touched the curb, I went ballistic and probably provided a good 5 minute show to anyone at the restaurant watching me. :frown

My shopping IS limited to tools, sports, and cars, and it is the GUYS (yes, even a few from this forum) telling me I need to go clothes and shoe shopping. If I have to go, I'm dragging a guy along with me and having a drink or two beforehand. If I can find a guy to do my clothes shopping for me, I'll marry him. :cheers

 

[soroush]

"How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays..."
"Ice cube trays"??? A bit "dated", don'tcha think?


"Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming."
"The right places" meaning the place where SHE thinks any particular item should go regardless of the fact it's HIS item and he has a REASON for having put it where it WAS?


"Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost."
When does a real man ever get lost??? Besides, real men have invented sat nav so one's location can be "double checked" at any given moment...:lol


"Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?"
YES!!! Those wheels cost hundreds of dollars apiece!!! :willy:willy:willy


"How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion."
No pblm. Limit your "shopping" to things auto, boat, motorcycle, sports, guns, or tool related. (An exception WILL be made for your trips to "Victoria's Secret".)


Addressing the rest of that list is beneath my dignity! :rofl

you forgot one!

men already know how to use the stove/oven. It is used for powder coating!:biggrin

 

[FM99]

This reminds me of a "discussion" I had with my wife many years ago. She came out to the garage in one of those "clean up" moods and informed me that she could clean up a lot of the "junk" in the garage. She was particularly contemptuous of the cans of rusted bolts, nuts, and washers. I thought about her remarks for a while and then told her, that it would be fine for her to clean up the garage while I cleaned up her sewing room. There seemed to be lots of short pieces of thread, patches of cloth, and an amazing collection of used buttons in that room, not to mention patters and tools that never seemed to be used. She thought about that for a while and decided that the garage was just fine the way it was.

 

[Empty Pockets]

you forgot one!

men already know how to use the stove/oven. It is used for powder coating!:biggrin

NOW you've dunnit!!! You've wised up "the opposition" with regard to what WAS only a rumor!

Shame on yer darn seff!