Bueller... Bueller... Ferris Bueller?
Okay guys, sit back and let me spin a tale for you (don't spoil it Matt). I am out an about one evening, entertaining Abe Froman, the sausage king of chicago, and his constituents. The plan is to meet downtown and goto a Mavericks game. Being the high roller that I am :rolleyes I decide to valet park the GT just outside the restaurant we are all meeting at. (conveniently located 10ft from the stadium). note: I watch the valet gently take the car to it's final resting spot.
Diner...
Game...
halftime... me and my guests wonder out to the Jack Daniel's Bar (located just across from the aformentioned restaurant). No sooner than I stepped out into the night air, I hear the beautiful sound of, well tune american V8 with loud pipes... hmmm sounds like FlowMasters... hmmm sound like my FlowMaster... wait THAT IS MY ***DAMN FLOWMASTERS!!! I run over to the entry gate (trying remember if my gun was loaded or needed to be chambered first) VARROOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM WOOOOOOOSSHHHHHH. mutha ****er... with his little red jacket on, the valet is briskly taking a turn into downtown Dallas. At this point I push the security guard out of my way and heard directly toward the valet stand... please forgive me but I called the guy at the stand by every mexican sir name I could manage. All the while we could both hear my car in distance vaaarooooooommm roooooaaaarrr. god damnit Paco what the **** is that sockcucker doing in my ****ing car...:willy Then is when it occurs to me that the entire situation is comical but I've put on such a show that if I laugh about it now Jose might think he can get uppity about the merrid of names I just called him. So I dig in,
Me: I want the owner here now!!
Jorge: I don't de owner
Me: You want to go to jail for him? 'cause I'm cool with that.
Jorge: Maybe I gotz his number... (dials cell phone)
Me: (trying not to laugh) give me his ****ing number right now and then you need to call 911
Jorge: Here it is senors.
Me: **** you... but thanks
Owner: uh sir, what is going on.
Me: I hope you got insurance friend
Owner: It wasn't our fault
Me: Your piece of **** $6/hour employee is joyriding my car, daddy 'o... it's a $200,000 Ford GT, here listen (holds phone in the air wildly... GT in the distance varoooooooom)
Me: Get your *** outa bed and meet me down here. We need to straiten some things out.
Owner: Okay, I'm haeded your way.
15 minutes into my rant, the GT pulls back around. Kid open the door and can see he caught... give me the keys you little **** (giggling to myself, I said ****).
By the time I got half way home I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. All I could picture was the movie Ferris Bueller, with the black guy and the mexican in the Ferrari going airborne over the rail road tracks.
BUT I'm not quite done jacking with them yet... how do you think they will like that bill for a new clutch Rich just sent me? ouch.
Who does this stuff happen too? Only in the movies right... nope.
Okay guys, sit back and let me spin a tale for you (don't spoil it Matt). I am out an about one evening, entertaining Abe Froman, the sausage king of chicago, and his constituents. The plan is to meet downtown and goto a Mavericks game. Being the high roller that I am :rolleyes I decide to valet park the GT just outside the restaurant we are all meeting at. (conveniently located 10ft from the stadium). note: I watch the valet gently take the car to it's final resting spot.
Diner...
Game...
halftime... me and my guests wonder out to the Jack Daniel's Bar (located just across from the aformentioned restaurant). No sooner than I stepped out into the night air, I hear the beautiful sound of, well tune american V8 with loud pipes... hmmm sounds like FlowMasters... hmmm sound like my FlowMaster... wait THAT IS MY ***DAMN FLOWMASTERS!!! I run over to the entry gate (trying remember if my gun was loaded or needed to be chambered first) VARROOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM WOOOOOOOSSHHHHHH. mutha ****er... with his little red jacket on, the valet is briskly taking a turn into downtown Dallas. At this point I push the security guard out of my way and heard directly toward the valet stand... please forgive me but I called the guy at the stand by every mexican sir name I could manage. All the while we could both hear my car in distance vaaarooooooommm roooooaaaarrr. god damnit Paco what the **** is that sockcucker doing in my ****ing car...:willy Then is when it occurs to me that the entire situation is comical but I've put on such a show that if I laugh about it now Jose might think he can get uppity about the merrid of names I just called him. So I dig in,
Me: I want the owner here now!!
Jorge: I don't de owner
Me: You want to go to jail for him? 'cause I'm cool with that.
Jorge: Maybe I gotz his number... (dials cell phone)
Me: (trying not to laugh) give me his ****ing number right now and then you need to call 911
Jorge: Here it is senors.
Me: **** you... but thanks
Owner: uh sir, what is going on.
Me: I hope you got insurance friend
Owner: It wasn't our fault
Me: Your piece of **** $6/hour employee is joyriding my car, daddy 'o... it's a $200,000 Ford GT, here listen (holds phone in the air wildly... GT in the distance varoooooooom)
Me: Get your *** outa bed and meet me down here. We need to straiten some things out.
Owner: Okay, I'm haeded your way.
15 minutes into my rant, the GT pulls back around. Kid open the door and can see he caught... give me the keys you little **** (giggling to myself, I said ****).
By the time I got half way home I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. All I could picture was the movie Ferris Bueller, with the black guy and the mexican in the Ferrari going airborne over the rail road tracks.
BUT I'm not quite done jacking with them yet... how do you think they will like that bill for a new clutch Rich just sent me? ouch.
Who does this stuff happen too? Only in the movies right... nope.
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